Look… I got something for you

This is for you, Mets, for your historical collapse. The Phillies were, and are, good – but they were supposed to be. You were too and you ate a big ol’ turd sandwich and blew it. Way to lead by seven games with little more than two weeks to go and still manage to screw it up. You led the division since MAY; since I was still in Germany. How is it possible to blow that big a lead that late?

It’s also for you, Steelers. Going to the game was certainly time and money well spent. I have to admit, I was super optimistic going into this game because, well… it’s the fucking Cardinals after all. That was before I read what Bill Simmons wrote on Friday:

CARDS (+6) over Steelers
My favorite pick of the week: I love when coaches go against their old teams, only the line never seems to reflect all the inside information they have on player weaknesses, signals and audibles and everything else. Imagine you worked in a close-knit company for 6-7 years like Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm did. Would you know the strengths and weaknesses of everyone around you? You would, right? Now, imagine you left the company to work somewhere else, then you had to use your extensive knowledge of your old company to beat them on a particular task. Wouldn't you have an enormous advantage for that task? Look at the way Parcells' Jets teams used to play the Pats in the late '90s -- they had half the talent, but those games were always close because the Tuna knew exactly how to beat them. Same for this game: Cards 27, Steelers 20.

So he turned out to be 99.9% right (he missed the final score but got the margin correct); you still shouldn’t lose to the CARDINALS when the crowd is 40-50% in your favor.

You get some too, Cardinals fans, for being complete assholes. So you won, congrats. I don’t have a problem with some taunting; it’s part of the game. But to start trying to get in people’s faces all aggressive-like – you’re asking for a beating. I guess when you haven’t had a winning season since 1984 (over 20 years for the math majors – and that was a mighty 9-7 record), you get a little over-excited when you beat someone. Enjoy this one fellas, historically speaking, you only have about 4 more this season to look forward to. Maybe you should temper your shit-talking until you can win a playoff game again (I’d say Super Bowl, but you gotta walk before you run), or until you can fill your own house with your own fans. You won today. The sun shines on every dog’s ass every now and again. Even turds float.

Lastly, let’s save a little bit for September 30th, 2007. I have to go to bed now. If I don’t end this day soon, someone I know might be in danger, my car might get stolen or my dog might die. That’s the way the day has been so far…

Gettin' in the zone

Watch the gorilla take himself to "that place" before laying down some ass-kickery.

YMCA Jesus

Yes, this is classless. But it's also funny as hell.

The Golden Boy

You won't look at Oscar de la Hoya the same again.

Still don't think Barry Bonds did steroids?