This guy wins...
What’s the most fucked up, disgusting thing you could ever imagine anyone doing? I’m talking small-scale stuff, not like genocide or anything – just something so insanely deviant that it defies description. Now forget whatever it is you’ve thought of because Ronald Kuch wins.
He had sex with a dog that had been dead for a week.
Near a daycare center.
Kuch has to stand trial even though Michigan law doesn’t explicitly list having sex with a dead dog as a crime. I can’t imagine why not. I know if I had been in charge of drawing up laws, I’d have made sure to have a “sex with a dead dog is not permitted” clause in there somewhere. Oh wait, no I wouldn’t because even in my low, low, low estimation of the human species I wouldn’t have guessed that someone would be capable of doing such a thing. Now I know better.
Kuch is set for a hearing on May 30th which will determine whether he’s a “sexually delinquent person.” My guess is that he is, but I know fuck-all about the law so I’ll have to wait and see.
Also amusing is Kathryn Fehrman’s (Kuch’s lawyer) argument is that a dead dog isn’t an animal and, therefore, it can’t be violated against its will. Touché, Ms. Ferhman, touché. The judge, Joseph Sheeran, also upheld an indecent exposure charge while noting that Kuch didn’t commit the act ''accidentally or inadvertently.'' You know, not like the time I was walking though the woods naked with an erection, tripped and fell and accidentally wound up with my wiener inside a dead animal. That was different.
I think if I had the chance to ask Ronald Kuch just one question, it would be this: was it difficult to wash the week-old dead animal’s anus smell off your penis?
And if he said no, I’d buy his soap. Well… not the one he actually used, but the same brand. I can’t imagine being able to ask much more from a soap.
He had sex with a dog that had been dead for a week.
Near a daycare center.
Kuch has to stand trial even though Michigan law doesn’t explicitly list having sex with a dead dog as a crime. I can’t imagine why not. I know if I had been in charge of drawing up laws, I’d have made sure to have a “sex with a dead dog is not permitted” clause in there somewhere. Oh wait, no I wouldn’t because even in my low, low, low estimation of the human species I wouldn’t have guessed that someone would be capable of doing such a thing. Now I know better.
Kuch is set for a hearing on May 30th which will determine whether he’s a “sexually delinquent person.” My guess is that he is, but I know fuck-all about the law so I’ll have to wait and see.
Also amusing is Kathryn Fehrman’s (Kuch’s lawyer) argument is that a dead dog isn’t an animal and, therefore, it can’t be violated against its will. Touché, Ms. Ferhman, touché. The judge, Joseph Sheeran, also upheld an indecent exposure charge while noting that Kuch didn’t commit the act ''accidentally or inadvertently.'' You know, not like the time I was walking though the woods naked with an erection, tripped and fell and accidentally wound up with my wiener inside a dead animal. That was different.
I think if I had the chance to ask Ronald Kuch just one question, it would be this: was it difficult to wash the week-old dead animal’s anus smell off your penis?
And if he said no, I’d buy his soap. Well… not the one he actually used, but the same brand. I can’t imagine being able to ask much more from a soap.
posted by Sivlitz at 4:08 PM
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