Sterilization Products

I’ve just remembered and resurrected an old idea that may very well save the human race: the Sterilization Products. Actually, in their first incarnation, I had dubbed them Death Products but it seems I have softened in my older years.

A Sterilization product is simply this: a product that reflects the baffling stupidity of the buyer. A buyer who has, by virtue their demonstrated idiocy, forfeited their right to reproduce and infect the rest of humanity with their sure-to-be-brain-dead spawn. If you purchase a flagged item, you lose the right to procreate. Simply put: if you’re dumb enough to buy a Sterilization Product, you are no longer fit to bring children into this world.

Answer me this: have you ever seen a bison with Down ’s syndrome? Actually, I’ll answer that for you: NO you fucking haven’t! And why? Because in nature, the Down’s bison gets eaten by a lion and it’s defective genes are removed from the herd. Now I’m not suggesting that we should feed Down’s syndrome kids to lions (I AM suggesting we feed midgets to lions though. That makes for good news stories…), I’m simply pointing out that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If we keep imbeciles from reproducing in the first place, doesn’t that make the Earth a better place for everyone? So without further ado, here are some suggestions for some sterilization products:

• Tie-dye apparel (no more hippies)
• Techno music cds (no more ravers)
• Emo music cds (no more whiny emo wusses)
• Robbie Williams cds (no more Europeans)
• Pink shirts (no more metrosexuals)
• Dallas Cowboy, Boston Red Sox, NY Yankee Merchandise (no more Cowboy, Red Sox or Yankee fans)
• Neon silk shirts (no more tonks)
• Tofu (no more vegetarians/vegans)
• Tabloid newspapers (self-explanatory)
• WWJD merchandise (also self-explanatory)

Keep in mind, this is not a comprehensive list – just a beginning. Woe to all when I’m the Most Exalted Supreme Ruler.