You fuck *one* sheep...

A Scottish man walks into his local pub looking glum and sits down for a few drinks. The bartender pours him a shot and he slams it and continues with his gloomy demeanor. The bartender pours another shot – same thing.

After a while the bartender asks the man what’s got him so depressed. The man answers, “You see that barn over there? I built that barn with me own two hands but do they call me William the barn builder? No.”

The bartender is confused but the man continues, “You see that bridge over there? I built that bridge stone by stone with me own two hands but do they call me William the bridge builder? No. You fuck one sheep though…”

I’ve always thought that was pretty funny. Then I stumbled across the real thing. Meet Leroy Johnson (a white dude named Leroy? Huh? I digress…).

Leroy is/was a deputy chief with the Mesa Fire Department, right here in Arizona. Unfortunately, his neighbor’s daughter watched him drag one of the family lambs into the barn and, well… you can guess what’s coming. The teenage girl walked into the barn to find Leroy with his pants down lying next to said lamb. When he was later confronted by the neighbor, Alan, Leroy simply replied, “You caught me Alan, I tried to fuck your sheep.”

Leroy the sheep fucker is currently facing charges of trespassing, disorderly conduct, and public sexual indecency.