Contract of Wifely Expectations

Ok… most of us have some standards that we uphold in the people we choose to date. That’s completely understandable, right? I mean if your girlfriend starts doing heroin, you will probably break up with her. If your boyfriend suddenly commits himself to a life of crime, you will probably break up with him.

There are also a number of things that you might not like but they aren’t automatic deal-breakers. For example, I like long hair on women because 99.99999999973% percent of the time it looks eleventy million times better than short hair. But would I kick a girl I really liked to the curb for cutting her hair short? Nah.

Still though, there are those few intrepid souls that take unwritten standards to new heights.

By writing them down, for example.

Or even worse, creating a contract of wifely expectations.

That is the case with Mr. Travis Frey who wrote up such a contract for his wife that set guidelines for what he expected from her. A contract people. When his wife met certain plateaus, she was awarded “Good Behavior Days” which she could use to get out of doing other things. What were some of the things Mr. Frey demanded from his wife? Here are some highlights:

• She had to shave (pubes, underarms and legs) a minimum of every three days and the only hair she was permitted to keep was a landing strip above her box. However, the hair was not to exceed the dimensions of two inches tall by one inch wide and the hair could be no longer than one-third of and inch.
• When not entertaining guests, she was REQUIRED to be naked within 20 minutes of putting the kids to bed.
• Frey had “My Time” during which his wife was not allowed to disagree with him and must do whatever she was told to do – including sex acts.
• Those Good Behavior Days? They could be revoked five at a time if Frey didn’t think his wife was cheerful enough when carrying out whatever stupid thing he made her do…
• If he made her go down on him, she was required to do so for at least 5 minutes (or until he finished. Who said he wasn’t flexible in his demands?)
• On a bright note, unexpected anal sex was worth 14 Good Behavior Days!
• Her birthdays were considered Good Behavior Days. His birthdays? She had to go out and by a sex toy for herself and that was considered her birthday gift to him

So how did this completely batshit crazy contract become public knowledge? Well, things like that tend to be exposed when you’re accused of kidnapping your wife…