Sometimes you get what you ask for
One time when we were kids, Kevin was playing with a PVC pipe. He has a section of it and bent it into a triangle shape. Of course, this was not its natural state and the pipe sought to return to its natural state. Kevin realized this but, rather than simply unfolding the pipe, he thought it best to fling the pipe away from him and let it violently spring back into place. And events worked out exactly as he had planned.
Except for the fact that the pipe unfolded itself directly into the side of his stupid head.
Even funnier, it drew blood, he panicked and then started screaming for his sister (which he did whenever a crisis presented itself).
One might be tempted to feel sorry for Kevin except for these two mitigating facts: it was Kevin and Kevin deserves no pity and second – what the fuck else was going to happen? How can you feel sorry for someone when the consequences of their actions are plain to see, yet they do it anyway? It’s like a kid teasing a dog. Do you feel sorry for them when the dog snaps at them? No, you say, “that’s what you get you little shithead.” Or a kid jumping on the bed after you’ve warned them not to. When they crack their egg, you say, “what do you want me to do about it, retard?”
Anyhow, there is a much larger and much funnier example of this from recent news reports. It concerns, what else? a fucking hippy retard.
The BBC reports the story of a woman who, in a bid to promote world peace, decided to hitchhike from Italy to Israel. She wanted to show that she could put her trust in the kindness of strangers.
Her naked, murdered body was found in northern Turkey recently.
Now, I’m not a complete asshole, so I’m not going to gloat (too much). I’m simply going to ask: was anyone surprised by the conclusion of her little adventure? Of course not! Anybody with sense would know better than to do what she was doing. Trusting every stranger, especially in such friendly territories as northern Turkey, is about as wise as teasing strange dogs and hoping they don’t bite or bending pipes and hoping they don’t pop a hole in your dome. Only those things don't have murderous consequences.
The hitchhiker’s sister had this to say, “Her travels were for an artistic performance and to give a message of peace and trust, but not everyone deserves trust.”
Um… welcome to what everyone else already knew, jackass. Welcome to the real world. How does it feel outside that idealistic liberal bubble?
Except for the fact that the pipe unfolded itself directly into the side of his stupid head.
Even funnier, it drew blood, he panicked and then started screaming for his sister (which he did whenever a crisis presented itself).
One might be tempted to feel sorry for Kevin except for these two mitigating facts: it was Kevin and Kevin deserves no pity and second – what the fuck else was going to happen? How can you feel sorry for someone when the consequences of their actions are plain to see, yet they do it anyway? It’s like a kid teasing a dog. Do you feel sorry for them when the dog snaps at them? No, you say, “that’s what you get you little shithead.” Or a kid jumping on the bed after you’ve warned them not to. When they crack their egg, you say, “what do you want me to do about it, retard?”
Anyhow, there is a much larger and much funnier example of this from recent news reports. It concerns, what else? a fucking hippy retard.
The BBC reports the story of a woman who, in a bid to promote world peace, decided to hitchhike from Italy to Israel. She wanted to show that she could put her trust in the kindness of strangers.
Her naked, murdered body was found in northern Turkey recently.
Now, I’m not a complete asshole, so I’m not going to gloat (too much). I’m simply going to ask: was anyone surprised by the conclusion of her little adventure? Of course not! Anybody with sense would know better than to do what she was doing. Trusting every stranger, especially in such friendly territories as northern Turkey, is about as wise as teasing strange dogs and hoping they don’t bite or bending pipes and hoping they don’t pop a hole in your dome. Only those things don't have murderous consequences.
The hitchhiker’s sister had this to say, “Her travels were for an artistic performance and to give a message of peace and trust, but not everyone deserves trust.”
Um… welcome to what everyone else already knew, jackass. Welcome to the real world. How does it feel outside that idealistic liberal bubble?
posted by Sivlitz at 8:09 PM
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