Germany needs air-conditioning

Germany had the first production jet engine. The Germans have also invented the printing press, radio guided weapons, ballistic missiles and cruise missiles. When we think of German engineering, we think of finely crafted automobiles and audio systems.

There is, however, a key technology that is missing in this country and it is called air conditioning.

When cavemen - thousands upon thousands of years ago - got warm, they pulled leaves off trees and fanned themselves. Look at the picture I’ve posted here: there’s an ancient Egyptian ass-kicker about to hand some peasant his ass and an ankh is fanning him to keep him cool. HOW, IN THE SPAN OF TIME, HAS THIS TECHNOLOGY NOT FOUND ITS WAY TO GERMANY? FUCK!!!!

It’s been miserable here for the past few days. Though the temperature isn’t nearly as hot as it is the Arizona, the humidity is considerably higher. You get out of the shower here and don’t get dry and then walking somewhere means a nice sweat and the accompanying swamp ass.

The absolute worst part about it is being INDOORS though. Vroni WILL NOT open windows creating a sauna effect in the room. We (the Americans: myself, Bryan and Rick) open up the windows in the living room in attempt to draw air through the apartment but we are constantly thwarted by Vroni closing everything up on the other end of the house. Why does she do this? Because it gets drafty… I think. I mean, I still haven’t heard a suitable explanation for her actions and I can only assume that she likes to live in an oven. As for drafty – that’s the whole goddam point! Get some cool air moving through the apartment so it isn’t so stiflingly hot! This has, so far, been the one point of contention between us. I like to live in an environment suited for human beings and she prefers an environment where eggs can fry on the floor and dough can rise. People tell me, “well, you’re from Arizona so you should be used to the heat.” The only problem with that logic is that we have COOLERS AND AC in the United States. We have evolved past the stone-fucking-ages in terms of cooling technology across the pond. Sadly, my prospective abode has some evolving of its own to do…