God DAMMIT!!

Last weekend ruled. I woke up Friday to participate in the UA’s Greek Golf Tournament. I had prepared the night before by preparing a flask full of Dead Nazi, my favorite shot mix (half Rumpleminze and half Jägermeister). On the day of the tournament I gathered my yard sale golf clubs up, tossed my liquor into the golf bad and headed out to the course. On the course I proceeded to get hammered and shoot some of the worst golf this side of man with both arms amputated. It was a great time though with my foursome, Craig, Eric and Tony included, taking home the Worst Team trophy to jokes of just having them rename the trophy in our honor.

Saturday was an even better day. I headed out to the tent on the mall for some pre-game drinking, headed back to the old fraternity house for more beer and to catch some quick football scores and then made my way to the game. What followed was one of the happier moments in my life as a UA football fan: a 52-14 drubbing of then #7 ranked UCLA. After the game, a celebration was in order so I headed back to the fraternity house where I ran into some old friends that I hadn’t seen in years. Good times all around.

I mention all this because that weekend put a goofy smile on my face that I carried all week long. As it relates to UA football, it felt as if a corner had been turned and freshman phenom Willie Tuitama was going to take the team places. It looked as if the UA was primed to win out and finish near .500 and have all the pieces in place for a decent team next year. The odds makers saw it that way too: they made Arizona a 13 point favorite in tonight’s game versus Washington.

So what happens? Well, if you are familiar with Arizona football, it shouldn’t surprise you to know that they took a huge bite out of a giant shitburger and dropped tonight’s game 38-14. Last week they demolished a ranked team and within one week’s time they were getting demolished on their home field by a team they were actually favored to win. To top it off, Tuitama played like the freshman he is, throwing 3 interceptions and losing a fumble. The atmosphere in the stadium was somber indeed. I found myself wondering if anyone would notice if I headed into the UA locker room, suited up and hit the field to play some defense. I mean – what was the worst that could happen? I’d get steam rolled by #22 and not make the tackle? That would have made me UNDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE REAL UA LINEBACKERS!! God dammit!! What about offense? How about letting me get some reps at tailback? I mean, I’m sure I’m not anywhere near as fast as Mike Bell or Gilbert Harris but really – how quick do you need to be to rush for NEGAVITE YARDAGE ON ALMOST EVERY GODDAM PLAY!! Damn you UA football. Rooting for you is like rooting for the Titanic not to sink at the end of the movie.