There is a god and he hates me.

Someone I haven’t heard from in ages contacted me again (via e-mail) not so long ago. After a lull in contact she responded to a message from me with a passage that says, “Anywho, I read something today that made me think of u....The caption or [sic] the article read ‘Naked man arrested for having a concealed weapon’...need I say more.”

She meant this article. Now, I’ve never avoided facing the fact that I’m an asshole but I ask: has it really gotten to the point where naked ex-cons with weapons hidden in their bung make people think, “Hey – I wonder what Sivlitz is up to”? (And yes, I fully realize I’ve just set them up and now y’all are going to knock ‘em down. Have at it. Make your jokes you fucking jackals).

I wrote back that when I’m naked, my weapon is impossible to conceal. I wrote that because I fucking rule.

Still though, I got to thinking about other stuff. For example, the Democrats are back in control of the House and possibly the Senate. Honestly, I’m not as upset as you might think about this, mostly because the Republicans stepped in every single motherfucking pile of shit they could possibly have stepped in. Damned by their hubris I guess. Still, though I’m not distraught over the election results, I’m not terribly happy either.

Add to this the fact that the US Soccer Federation has possibly added a friendly game against mexico to the schedule. In Phoenix. Great. Thanks for not doing that for years and years and then getting off your ass to make it happen while I’m in Germany. Good work there.

Also, Kathi’s sister recently bought a new bed and it was delivered on Monday. I had been planning on going to bed early that day to catch up on some sleep I’d been lacking. Though she succeeded in building most of the bed by the time I had gotten back from work, she succeeded in building the god damned thing upside down. We had to disassemble and reassemble (to be fair, she did most of the reassembling as I was busy eating lasagna) the bed before we could go to sleep. So much for that then…

Life isn’t all bad though. In a little more than two hours, I will be present for FC Bayern Munich’s game against Hannover 96 (and their American right back, Steve Cherundolo) and in a little more than a week, Tool will be in town. None of these good developments, however, mean that god is any less of a pole smoker.

There… I said it.