Whores don’t fall far from the whore tree

When a son is just like his father, they say he’s a chip off the old block; they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. And there are plenty of fathers out there who secretly (or not so secretly) hope that their sons follow them into their profession. Women, on the other hand, may or may not have wanted their daughters to follow in their pregnant and bare-footsteps.

Until they were liberated.

Now a stripper can hope with all her whore heart that her whore daughter will carry on the tradition. Not that I mind. I love strippers (more as objects than actual people but that's beside the point). It’s just that I would hope for something better for my little girl. A life that didn’t involve her being ogled and/or followed by Larry and Rusty, the local perverts. Call me crazy…

In any event, this article chronicles the adventures of a mother and daughter stripper tandem in Florida. There is a whole lot of missing perspective and outright delusion in this article. Before I explain that though, how about the fact that two relatives are often naked and performing simulated sex acts in front of each other? What kind of fucked up situation is this? The last thing, the very last thing I need in this whole universe, is to see any of my, well… you figure out the rest of this sentence. Even when it comes to my brothers getting horizontal with a lady, I don’t want to hear it. You hear me? I don’t want to hear it. When Danny tries to tell me stories (and they’re just that… stories. All lies.) I want to push my fingers in my ears and do the whole, “lalalalalala – I can’t hear you – lalalalala” bit. And two other brothers have kids. I’m not stupid. I know where babies come from. Theirs weren’t produced this way though. The stork brought those children into the world. The motherfucking stork. Yes.

So what kind of butt-fucked situation produced a mother and daughter who were comfortable stripping in front of each other? Who knows but our poor heroines don’t have the brain power to extricate themselves from it. Consider this lack of perspective:

Mother says most men realize that she’s naked when she’s dancing for them. No, of course not – they’re clearly impressed by your view on United States foreign policy and impressive vocabulary. It’s not the titties swinging in their face.

Daughter says she has a plan. The stripping is only temporary; she’s only doing it until she gets her massage therapy license ands starts up a spa. She’s not like the other strippers whose great plans have failed. She’s different. She also says it was strange the first time she went into the titty joint to watch her mother peel her clothes off and rub her bits on strangers. Who knew? I thought that would be as normal as a bear shitting in the woods. Guess I was wrong.

Her father found out she was stripping and told her to get an education so she’d have something to fall back on. Others called her a whore. Good times. Now THAT’S perspective.

More lack of perspective from the youngest daughter (who isn’t yet a stripper), “It's [stripping] a very respected profession, and they work hard for their money.''

No sweetie, PROSTITUTION is a respected profession. Strippers are soulless.

Mother says mirrors are her worst enemy. Really? Like, worse than your lack of education, lack of ambition and the personality flaws that lead you to believe stripping alongside your daughter is a-ok? None of those are your worst enemy? If you say so, I guess.

I should give some props though. The younger whore already has two houses. TWO houses. Maybe stripping isn’t a bad deal after all. I suddenly hope I have daughters. I could live in a palace…