A hummer at Hooters

I’ve never held the same fascination with Hooters that most other guys have (for clarification: I’m talking about the restaurant, not the real things. Real hooters kick ass…). I went to Hooters in Phoenix once and everything about it sucked: the girls were ugly, the wings were over-hyped and it was expensive compared to what you’d get elsewhere.

That experience was enough for me. I mean honestly, what’s the draw of that place? The girls right? Well, there aren’t any EATING there so you are at the mercy of whether or not the staff is attractive. From what I’ve gathered though, the women who work at Hooters are mediocre in looks and just a step above your run-of-the-mill stripper personality-wise. They show enough skin to pique the interest yet don’t show enough to be considered scandalous. Well what’s the point I ask? If I wanted to settle for shitty food, they why not quit the pretense and just head to a titty bar?

Still though, Hooters manages to stay in business and until today, the reason for that eluded me. It all makes sense now though. Apparently Hooters is NOT the tease it markets itself as… it’s a veritable brothel!

According to this story, a Hooters manager in Alabama was fired for contacting Hooter Headquarters after a visiting training manager gave a pep-talk to his employees which they later complained about. What was so bad about said pep-talk? Well, start with the training manager’s observation that the waitresses were, “the ones with the pussys and you are in control because of that." Hmm. That’s an interesting statement from a corporate representative. Still, you have to admit – it’s kinda true.

Oh but wait! She also said this: “If you need the extra money, go ahead and suck a dick or fuck a customer if the money is right."

The hell you say! Suddenly Hooters’ allure is very clear to me. Sure the chicken wings might suck, but for a good tip – your waitress will too.