The votes are tallied and it is official: Ben Roethlisberger is God.

From an anonymous comment on my post-Bengals game post:

“There's no way, I repeat NO WAY they beat the Colts. It won't even be close.”

Ok… deep breath: HAHAHAHAHA GARGLE MY BALLS ANONYMOUS COCKSUCKER!!!

Listen, I’m no fool – I was not as confident going into the game today as I was going into the Cincinnati game. I’ve been saying all year to anyone who will listen that no one was going to stop the Colts this year. Unfortunately that task fell to the Steelers who had to play them in their home stadium. Nevertheless, as the game loomed I started to think, “the Steelers can do this. Stranger things have happened before.” I went into the game fearing the worst but knowing that I wouldn’t be surprised if the Steelers won. I mean, the Colts don’t exactly have a strong history in the playoffs.

So what happens? In spite of an officiating crew that was either insanely pro-Colts or insanely incompetent the Steelers pulled out a win though they were given a scare after a dominant performance. As for the refs, I’m all for equal opportunity employment but I’m hoping the NFL reconsiders its policy of hiring blind officials. This isn’t sour grapes mind you – my team won. I’m just stating facts people: the pass interference non-call against Randle El and possibly the worst call in the history of football, the negation of Polamalu’s interception. Keep in mind that it was ruled an interception on the field to the ref thought he found INDISPUTABLE evidence that Polamalu didn’t catch the ball, despite the fact that he clearly did, rolled over with it in his possession, started to run with it and then fumbled and recovered it. Amazing. Unless someone shows me the rule that interceptions made by Samoan players with long hair are invalid if the ball leaves the player’s possession within two hours after the pick, I will go to my grave believing that was an interception.

So the Colts score, get the two-point conversion and trail by three with time left. Steelers give up the ball and RULE the Colts to get the ball back with two yards between them and another six points. This is when Jerome Bettis thinks, “this is a good time for my first fumble of the season” and pops the ball up. Who makes the saving tackle but Ben Roethlisberger. The dude is awesome (and yeah it was a pretty lucky grab but Big Ben has now officially reached God status).

Luckily for me and the Steelers, they chose to put the “Mike Vanderjagt never misses!” graphic on the screen right before the deciding kick. Announcer’s curse, wide right, game over. Now our anonymous Colts fan can go back to inserting large objects into his rectum for pleasure since his team, you know… won’t be playing anymore games this year.