Boners
Dude… remember when you were in middle school and you had so many hormones running through your body that you’d get random boners 3 minutes before the period ended?
(This is something I always found fascinating, by the way: why didn’t you ever get a chubby during the middle of the class? They you’d have time for it to go away on its own rather be stuck trying to discreetly put your books over your wood, or trying to tuck it into your pants waistband. I used to wear sweatpants a lot when I was younger. So ladies, I may have looked classy most of the time, but right before the bell rung, I was getting my backpack into position to cover my tent-pole when I stood up. I may have looked less classy during these moments. Now you know why…)
Anyway, there’s a point in me bringing this up and it’s not just that I want to mention the incredible difficulties I had hiding my massive member from public view. Because, you know, it isn’t always easy trying to conceal something the length and girth of a toddler’s arm (that’s how big my teenage penis was, in case you were slow in getting the insinuation. And yeah, it’s gotten even bigger since. HOLLA!!). What, pray tell, do you do when you’re standing nude on a beach and you see some attractive females and start to swell?
You flex.
Duh.
(This is something I always found fascinating, by the way: why didn’t you ever get a chubby during the middle of the class? They you’d have time for it to go away on its own rather be stuck trying to discreetly put your books over your wood, or trying to tuck it into your pants waistband. I used to wear sweatpants a lot when I was younger. So ladies, I may have looked classy most of the time, but right before the bell rung, I was getting my backpack into position to cover my tent-pole when I stood up. I may have looked less classy during these moments. Now you know why…)
Anyway, there’s a point in me bringing this up and it’s not just that I want to mention the incredible difficulties I had hiding my massive member from public view. Because, you know, it isn’t always easy trying to conceal something the length and girth of a toddler’s arm (that’s how big my teenage penis was, in case you were slow in getting the insinuation. And yeah, it’s gotten even bigger since. HOLLA!!). What, pray tell, do you do when you’re standing nude on a beach and you see some attractive females and start to swell?
You flex.
Duh.
posted by Sivlitz at 9:05 PM
1 Comments:
Dude! I f'n hated those days. . .bell rings, "oh shit I gotta boner!" ok. .make backpack a "frontpack" to cover highly embarrassing BONER in front of other students & save years of scrutiny. . .think about something other than sex!. . . . .walk slowly.
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